Paris I

Red – this hour closes but my veins do not.

Bleeding – for you and it will not cease.

Time – To refuse cunning promises of redemption.

Drip, drop, drip dry.

Dripping time of dropping lies.

Loss – Imploring gears in motion as I stand still.

Grief – Six feet solves no pain of mine now,

Truth – relative to the ears and heart,

Drip, drop, drip dry.

Dripping time of grieving mine.

Tall – this tower of retribution seems to leer,

Kind – wishes find welded heart, hungry spirits within,

Feel – what you wish and I’ll keep rhymes,

Drip, drop, drip dry,

Dripping time of ill timed “why’s”.

Plead – The case I closed with verdict’s spite,

Make – your way home forget so called grief,

Remember – I carry this seemingly alone,

Drip, drop, drip dry,

Dripping time of wanting to die.

Fake - being ok to please the ones who remain,

Dust - from ashes never to be reborn the same,

Dark – the hours keep no time for my spinning world,

Drip, drop, drip dry,

Dripping time of aching life.

Choose – to live and keep on breathing,

Make – her bed never to be disturbed again,

Smell – the faint memories clinging to winter’s claim,

Drip, drop, drip dry,

Dripping time of mending I.

In Truth

In truth you know nothing of,

The dizzy spell I am bound by now,

Entire armies have known less pain,

Wars have not known this battlefield,

The plains are drenched in my blood,

Tears do not wash away the stench you have left.

In truth you know nothing of,

The pain I endure at your hands,

Complete and utter chaos is my wish,

To mask this raw pain eating through my soul,

Ever mine is this disastrous ending,

Ever yours is this fatal non-committed choosing.

In truth you know nothing of,

Love as it should be in its complete form,

If choosing you means this confused being,

I would walk a different path and one alone,

For to be bound to you is like breaking waves,

I am done with being the anchor in stormy seas.

Storm

You know the saying “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”?

There is no storm... There is no fury reeking havoc here.

In place of such terrible destructive forces exists a calm resolve. A quite reverence as a soul’s last surge for a mended heart looms ever nigh. This – is my life. I am resigned to view it as a heeling process, because that is what sounds healthy. But what I find is a muscle that having been used for the first time – knows not what to do now that it is in pain. I draw deep on the waters of life, praying that I am sustained by some power I know not of. Faith eludes me, and darker nights than I have ever seen – are now my twisted lovers.

There is no storm… Passing thunderheads pose no fear for me now.

I search the light beacons in twilight’s aftermath of knowing you deeper. Such persuasive arms that no longer seek me, distant empty gaze that holds me at a far distance. Was I really all that wrong? This – is a lover’s fate. For having chosen pathways of Casanova’s design you do not cherish what I esteem. Value was misguided and my faith’s un-forgiven rupture will plague me for a time. The wind brushes my face – I feel. Remember – the courage I keep and did not reveal to you. I was right, wasn’t I? To hide what I most valued? It lies like a dormant beast, you had not the strength to release it, nor could you have hoped to tame it. Understanding? I would laugh to see you try.

There is no storm. The clouds are grey, but the storm itself lies harbored in my gut.

No Further

I stare, down cast.

My eyes travel within me and reach my soul – stop.

Go – no – further.

It is not pain which halts my efforts of reasoning.

Some grace has entered from where I know not.

But consuming waves of retribution threaten my fortress.

I laugh, at myself.

My voice is not my own as it echoes off high walls - stop.

Sound – it – louder.

The trumpet’s announcing my great defeat as I take,

A gasping breath for I was drowning in your seed,

Needing your touch sends me hurling now,

I sweat, drips fall,

My very pores are sensitive to your presence – stop,

Pray – on – harder.

Repentance is not required for me to move on,

And forgiveness holds now sway for me as I know,

Redemption is far beyond reach at this point and time,

I weep, blood tears,

Let me bathe in my seemingly insignificant pain – stop,

Scream – for – frustration.

I am washing my love in your dirty water,

Is this my chosen fate to wrap my identity in something,

Someone who doesn’t care to understand the layers of my being,

I lie, sleep beckons,

Do I dare stray into the uncertain terror of night – stop.

Dream – ever – deeper.

Should I be able to escape from this Greek tragedy,

I would not choose the easier of paths this time,

Taking one step further I will be the one to hold my head high – dreams are for the bold.

Mistake

We all make mistakes, stupid errors on our part filled with emotions. Mine was that I trusted the night. I trusted its call and embrace, and further more I went as far as to answer its tune, with a stepping stone laid to your destructive powers.

Tip of the Iceberg

Often times... wait, no. EVERY time I have been utterly moved by something in the past several years it has always been something with an incredible sky. One of my favorites is a clear night sky while in a plane - but we'll leave that for another time. This picture is the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris - my new hometown. Many consider this monument a masterpiece in and of itself. I personally am not a huge fan, but I am the first to appreciate it non the less. What I appreciate even more? You guessed it, the sky :) I think that what man has made - next to what just "happens" on day to day basis... there is no competition! Look at this sky, what man creates is "just the tip of the iceberg".

Hello

Hello steps of a child,

Hello my present age,

I bid good day to the combination,

I am one and the same,

A choice and then again not,

I am happy with my prize,

Fumbling with words,

My bow is weak at best,

Why, good morning new lines!

Face worn with last night’s romp,

Recovery is my dream,

And I will forever lie in want,

Hello my love giver,

Hello friend through my years,

I say your gaze still holds me!

We are one and the same,

A plan and then again not,

You found me so unaware,

Tumbling into arms of grace,

I am yours with all my best,

Well, good night fair fighter!

A day’s living well done I say,

Your laughter gave life to the living,

And let the dying live another day,

Hello my shadow on the wall,

Hello to fair tales of night,

I bid lively dreams to all,

We shall dance in the timber,

Caress as we slumber in fall.